Snicket Lemony

The Bad Beginning

Snicket Lemony, 2012

Dear Reader, The book you are holding in your hands is a short-lived edition of a book that will likely make your life shorter as well. The tale of three Baudelaire children, who find themselves thrown into an unhappy situation containing a treacherous villain with an evil scheme and bad manners, becomes more and more dreadful on each page, and everyone so foolhardy as to read it will find themselves weeping and moaning by the end of the book. This book is offered at an introductory price, but it introduces the reader to such unpleasantries as a disastrous fire, itchy clothing, a baby trapped in a cage, a plot to steal an enormous fortune, and dusty curtains. I made a solemn promise to write down these wretched tales, but you have no such promise, and if I were you I would put down a book this terrible, no matter how reasonably priced. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket. Подробнее

The Slippery Slope

Snicket Lemony, 2012

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on... The Slippery Slope. Like handshakes, house pets or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately the Baudelaires run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up and down a range of strange and distressing mountains. In order to spare you repulsion it is best not to mention any more regarding a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats and a scheming villain. Подробнее

The Grim Grotto

Snicket Lemony, 2010

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on... The Grim Grotto . Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone or mildew you probably prefer not to be damp. But unfortunately the Beaudelaires encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater. You may wish to delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being moistened. Подробнее

The Penultimate Peril

Snicket Lemony, 2012

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on... The Penultimate Peril. Sadly this next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next-to-first in its supply of unpleasantness. Probably the next-to-last things you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain and an unsavoury curry. Next-to-last things are the first thing to be avoided! Подробнее

The End

Snicket Lemony, 2010

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on... The End. This book is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents. Подробнее

The Hostile Hospital

Snicket Lemony, 2012

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on... The Hostile Hospital — There are many pleasant things to read about, but this book contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heartshaped balloons, and some very starling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things. Подробнее

The Carnivorous Carnival

Snicket Lemony, 2010

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on... The Carnivorous Carnival — This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Your time might be better filled with something more palatable such as eating your vegetables or feeding them to someone else. Подробнее

Who Could That be at This Hour

Snicket Lemony, 2013

The first volume in the highly anticipated new series by Lemony Snicket, author of A Series of Unfortunate Events. In a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket began his apprenticeship in an organization nobody knows about. He began asking questions that shouldn't have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published, in four volumes that shouldn't be read. This is the first volume. Charming, clever and enormously enjoyable. (Guardian). Wonderfully eccentric and addictive... Just beautiful writing. (Observer). Better than ever. (Independent). A dazzlingly clever, funny and literary concoction. Подробнее

The Dark

Snicket Lemony, 2014

Laszlo is afraid of the dark. The dark lives in the same house as Laszlo but mostly it spends its time in the basement. It doesn't visit Laszlo in his room. Until one night it does. With emotional insight and poetic economy, Lemony Snicket and Jon Klassen bring to light a universal and empowering story about conquering fear. Join a brave boy on his journey to meet the dark, and see why it will never bother him again. Подробнее

Lemony Snicket 1 — Bad Beginning

Snicket Lemony, 2007

Dear Reader, I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune. In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast. It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Подробнее

Lemony Snicket 2 — Reptile Room

Snicket Lemony, 2007

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odour. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy. Подробнее

Lemony Snicket 3 — Wide Window

Snicket Lemony, 2007

Dear Reader, If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick–witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair.I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Подробнее

Snicket Lemony

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